Opinion Poll
Just For Women
I feel guilty of being a working mom!
Hot Threads
Kishore Kant @ Swagata Really mam? i disagree with your statement that you working moms give you kids sense of pride... are you trying to say that the kids of hou.. more
Ronnie Mirchandani I am nt here to decide what is right and what is not.. but my concern is that i have a working wife, who work late at times and during that time i am.. more
Topic owner: Shyamolima Saikia: I am a working mother and work under constant guilt of not being able to take care of my child my self. I leave him behind with the maid. To make up for all the lost time, I end up doing all that he asks for (giving into his whims and fancies) I don't know if its for fighting that guilt or its my way of expressing love towards my kid.. i want to ask all the working mothers out there if they also go through the same feeling of guilt? and if you do how do you overcome it ?
Pra Kumar
i fully disagree i give time to my family & husband & both are in touch with me. i know they have some expectation from me i try to fullfill them i also know my child waited for me i avoid late night working in office
Jess Kaur
After doing my phd and pursuing MBA I quit work for selfish reasons. I missed my boys so much, their karate, helping with spelling homework, making afterschool treats and kissing them when they came home from school. But I was lucky. I was able to make that choice.
Sad really, our consumer desires have made motherhood a luxury. Hmmmm
Sad really, our consumer desires have made motherhood a luxury. Hmmmm
Arthi Krishna
Being a working mum and being a full-time mum can have its advantages and disadvantages. The experience that a working mum brings, the routine and structure if carried out effectively can benefit the kids, but the effects of stress and guilt are unwanted. Similarly a full-time mother has good time to spend with the kids, is there for them to support them emotionally, but if the mother is not happy to be at home and get bored and hates being at home, she won't give her best to the kids. The ideal think would be to have a part-time job. These days there are a few available in some lines. It to some extent gives mums the best of both worlds. You may have to change your line and use your earlier experience. It would be a bit of a compromise, but a huge benefit . It is not easy to find a part-time job, but with determination it does work out somehow. Hope the part-time job concept will get more popular in all areas of work.
Gopala Chintakindi
I donot think generalizing that working mom's harm the kids is good. Every family is unique in itself. I saw lot of cases where kids miss not spending time with mom's and get depressed especially gals.. and also housewives who donot keep their kids clean and teach them good manners, As some one here said, quantity of time that you spend with kids is not important, but the quality is important. I feel giving kids whatever they ask for as re-paying them for the time you lost due to your job will sometimes harm kids. They will not know how to earn things, working hard, and the art of surviving in this harsh world. I feel working mom's may sometimes harm kids ( in some cases ) but certainly not in all cases.
Ronnie Mirchandani
I am nt here to decide what is right and what is not.. but my concern is that i have a working wife, who work late at times and during that time i am at home with my kid. we take care that either of us is there with the kid.. but sometimes it so happens that she misses her mom so much taht she wont even come to me and will eithr throw her tantrums or cry like something. what to do i9n such situation? its very obvious that i will feel bad and might as well pick up a fight on the same with my wife. Am i thinking wrong? Can anyone suggest.
Laidoff Se excuse me.... expectation setting with kids.. are we converting family to corporate land... Grow up arthi...
Arthi Krishna I think its really nice that you are ready to step in and help with your wife working. Though it could be a natural tendency, it wouldn't be the right thing to pick a fight with your wife on this. If it is not an every day case and sometimes your wife has to work late, and your child throws a tantrum, then it means not enough expectation setting has happened with the kids. If the mother can talk to the kid and assure them that she wouldn't stay away if she didn't have to and that she felt alright about it sometimes because she knew daddy would take good care of them, I am sure you won't get the tantrum. It can surprising how understanding kids can be if we try to understand their feelings and talk to them like an adult. However we must think if we want the kid to be understanding most of the times, or if we want to be more understanding most of the times.
Gurpreet Singh
i do agree with all, But I have come across so many working mothers who feel very guilty... especially those who have very demanding jobs that involves travel and to some extent the child also makes you feel guilty. As you rightly said it depends on the individual, how she plans and organizes her schedule.. but even i want to know how...?
Kishore Kant
@ Swagata Really mam? i disagree with your statement that you working moms give you kids sense of pride... are you trying to say that the kids of housewives lack sense of pride and accomplishment? Let me correct you lady that kids with both the working parents suffer the most, since they are deprived of supervision, guidance and love that only moms can shower and not their substitutes. Kids either end up being spoilt brats or are emotionally weak. you can for sure make up for the lost time by buying them all that they want but believe me they need more than that which is mother's love and guidance.In short ,having a working mother is harmful for a kid.
My advice to you-don't guide ppl when you are yourself not sure about the pros and cons..
My advice to you-don't guide ppl when you are yourself not sure about the pros and cons..
Sampriti Ahuja My friend, the word mother and harm do not go along. A mother, working or otherwise, can never harm her child.
Most working women have experimented and mastered their own ways of dealing with work and family. Also,FYI... majority of women work, not because they are career-minded but because they want to lend a helping hand financially. As well as secure their own future in case of adversities. By the way Kishore, Would you like to substantiate your statement (that working moms are harmful..) with an example?
Most working women have experimented and mastered their own ways of dealing with work and family. Also,FYI... majority of women work, not because they are career-minded but because they want to lend a helping hand financially. As well as secure their own future in case of adversities. By the way Kishore, Would you like to substantiate your statement (that working moms are harmful..) with an example?
Swagata Roy Excuse me Mr. you cannot force your baseless thoughts and ideas on someone. do you have any facts or figures to support your theory.. This debate is century old and can go on for another centuries. Anyways just to clarify, I wud say each family situation is different, what may work for one family, may not be best for yours. And so, comparing your situation to others is like comparing apples to oranges. so ultimately you have to decide what works for yours. I am myself a working mother and fyi had both the parents working so i have noticed difference between us & my kids and kids of house wife moms.. where, with a constant guidance and supervision, kids are dependent, aggressive and less understanding. By the way this grp is for Women only !!!!!!!!
Read more: http://workingmothers.suite101.com/article.cfm/working_ moms_need_not_feel_guilty#ixzz0XI2SpQRY
Read more: http://workingmothers.suite101.com/article.cfm/working_ moms_need_not_feel_guilty#ixzz0XI2SpQRY
Shalini Chhabra
no,I don't think so ... It all depends on quality time spent with kids rather than quantity..I think working moms kids are more independent compared to the others. But you must remember and ensure that kids remain your top priority.. being a mother you can't choose career over them, its not right! Though balancing both is difficult but then lot of women do it..
Swagata Roy She is right, and for guilt feelingss..they can come without warning, and i can assure you Shyamolina, most of the working mothers feel guilty at one time or the another in their life. But i will advice you something, as a working mother, it is very imp. to feel comfortable with your decision first. though many ppl feel that by working, mothers are taking something valuable away from their kids time. while i wud like to correct them that we (working moms) give more to our kids then just taking care, a sense of pride and accomplishment, a role model and more financial freedom!!!!!
