A few days back my parents walked into my room when I was kissing my girlfriend.
Now they think I am a lesbian and have a disease. They want to take me to a psychologist.
How do I explain to them that I am not a lesbian. I do not want to lose that girl also.
Please suggest something.

Kanika, I dont know why u would kiss ur girlfriend if u r not a lesbian. But, anyways, If "U" know that u r not a lesbian, then prove it to them. I would suggest u bring them all together for a discussion. U, ur folks & ur girlfriend & talk about it properly. Explain the situation to them & ur girlfriend. I think they will understand.

I am a lesbian myself, & I know how hard it can be for someone to understand this. Just ask ur parents to talk to somebody who is a lesbian. She will be able to help then understand it is not a disease.

I hope this really helps...

Take care...

- Kareena Jones....

no problem yaar say that u want to marry and want love

dear u love ur parents more. u spent more time with parants. they undertstand u definately.

make affair with good looking boys, and gently expose u r affair with u r parrents. but 1 thing expose this affair with kissing or hot seance

kiss your mother.....tooo.

Sharmila cannot ever for get that night. Six months ago, the 15-year old Delhi student stayed back at her friend Gaya tri's house after a late party with classmates.

They were in bed, chatting with each other, when Gayatri suddenly started caressing her. That was just the beginning.

Since then, every other week they are at each other's house, spending intimate nights together. “I felt odd to begin with.

But after a few minutes, I started enjoying the caresses. It is good to connect sexually to a person I am emotionally connected with,“ says Sharmila, a Class IX student of a reputed co-educational school. “Gayatri had never attracted me sexually before that first night. But now she does.“

Same sex relationships in schools have so far mostly been a boarding school phenomenon, especially in all boy schools. But increasingly, counselors have been noting a rise in gay relationships in schools among both boys and girls, some of them as young as 12.

“A sexual revolution is happening in urban India,“ says Gaurai Uddanwadikar, head of Counseling India, a psychotherapy clinic in Bangalore. “There is more openness and less inhibition about sex in general. So homosexual relationships are also becoming more common.“

For many youngsters, though, an alternative sexual orientation is still a matter of shame. Just before his school finals, Lucknow boy Paresh Aggarwal had gone into a shell. He would lock himself up in his room for hours, painting his nails. He stopped studying and talking to his parents, who initially thought he was reeling under the stress of examinations. But when they met Delhi counselor Geetanjali Kumar, Paresh gradually opened up.

“A lot of our sittings were spent in silence. I started talking about his interest in nail paint, his favorite colors and his relationship with his friends. After a couple of sessions, he gathered the strength to tell his mother that he was sexually attracted to boys,“ says Kumar.

But experts stress that many students have been indulging in same sex relationships purely on an experimental basis. “The pre-teen is an age when children want to experiment with everything they have heard and read about.

Since they are increasingly hearing about homosexuality in the public space, there is increasing experimentation as well,“ says Uddanwadikar.

Indeed, for young students today , gay is no longer a dirty word. Developments in the last few years have brought gay activities out of the closet. The law has sought to decriminalize homosexuality; men and women flaunt their sexuality in colorful gay parades and several films have focused on gay themes in the recent past. “Society has started accepting gays,“ says gay rights activist Gautam Bhan.

Delhi-based counselor Etishree Bhati, who is attached to a reputed south Delhi school, points out that though there are ample opportunities for students to indulge in heterosexual relationships in her co-ed school, many have been showing sexual interest in students of the same gender.“If three years ago two children came forward to discuss their same sex relationships, now there are at least five new cases every year,“ she says. Delhi counselor Bhavna Barni adds that she has seen a 20 per cent increase in the number of cases of school students exploring gay relationships in the last five years.

The trend is not limited to Delhi. “We are seeing this in an increasing number of children studying in Mumbai's posh schools and belonging to affluent families,“ says Dr Kersi Chavda, consultant psychiatrist at Mumbai's PD Hinduja National Hospital and Medical Research Centre.“These days, teenagers are courageous enough to openly speak about `not so conventional' relationships,“ stresses Calcutta-based educationist Malini Bhagat.

T he difference between the sit uation today and five years ago isn't just the rising numbers, but the attitude of the teens as well. “Children don't see a same sex relationship as an anomaly. It comes up in their regular conversation and they don't see it as a big deal,“ says Calcutta's child and adolescent psychiatrist Gargi Bandopadhyay .

Not all parents see the development in the same light. Last year, the parents of a 12-year-girl, Neha, took her to Dr Barni, a senior child and clinical psychologist at the Escorts Fortis Hospital in Delhi, for counseling. Neha, who studies in a public school in Delhi, told Barni that she had got physical with her girlfriends.

“She said she felt comfortable with them and physical intimacy had been a natural outcome of this comfort factor,“ recalls Barni. Neha also felt alienated from the boys in her class who teased her about her weight.

Barni believes there is an increasing trend towards homosexuality among students of Class V and VI. With the growing incidence of rape and abuse -and media focus on such incidents -young children are perceiving relationships with the opposite sex as threatening. Bangalore psychologist Sulata Shenoy adds that parents are so afraid of children having opposite sex relationships that they often encourage same sex friendships hoping that it would postpone opposite sex relationships.

“In the pre-teen age group, most children feel most comfortable with peers of the same sex. And since sexual exploration is starting at an early age today, they tend to involve partners of the same sex,“ explains Barni.

But not everybody believes there is cause for concern. “Human sexuality goes through peaks and troughs during the course of development at the age of 10 to 17 years,“ says Shenoy, a child psychologist at Turning Point Center for Guidance, Bangalore. “Also, both male and female hormones surge and decrease at different growth points -all this causing sufficient confusion to the child about his or her sexuality and sexual orientation. Hence, there is curiosity to explore and tendency to experiment.“

With youngsters becoming aware of their body , there is always a desire to experiment, the experts point out. “At this age, they are trying to figure out how their body reacts and the pleasures it can give. It is but natural that they will try it out with friends they can trust,“ explains Magdalene Jeyarathnam, director of Chennai's East West counseling center that offers same sex counseling and conducts group therapy for the lesbian gay bisexual transgender community .

This is when adolescents are unclear about their own sexuality. “For some, these feelings and thoughts can be intense and even confusing. They often tend to ask themselves `what does this mean?' or `am I gay?' It is this quest to seek answers to questions within themselves that they experiment with people of the same sex,“ says Bhati

To help youngsters resolve the questions in their mind, sex education in schools needs to be strengthened and children have to be sensitised about how to handle such relationships, feels Bhagat. “Some orientation is needed for school children to create an environment conducive for gays and lesbians in educational institutions. We often do it by showing films based on the issue in our film clubs,“ she says.

Sunil Gupta, gay rights activist and photographer, thinks that while teenagers should be made aware of the fact that such relationships exist, they should experiment within limits. “They should be able to make an informed choice when they become adults. But at this age, they should be cautious about experimenting,“ he says.

B eing too young to under stand the intricacies of rela tionships, abuse is quite common among gay part ners at this age, experts warn. “Infidelity is common in such relationships and therefore there is abuse too. At least 10 per cent of same sex relationships that I come across in my school involve abuse to a certain extent,“ says Bhati.

Experts say parents have to extend a helping hand to their children as they grapple with such issues. According to Calcutta psychiatrist Rima Mukherjee, parents often ask her to “cure“ their child of the “disease“ of homosexuality .

“In a recent case, electric shocks were given to a boy to help him regain `normality',“ she says.

Sulata Shenoy urges parents to accept that any child can have sexual feelings which are natural in the course of growing up into adulthood. “It is best not to panic or overreact, but be calm, and at the same time tell children about sexuality and sexual practices so that they don't grow up with a sense of guilt or anxiety,“ she says. “As a society, too, the time has come for us to face these issues and not to brush them under the carpet of ignorance.“

tell ur parents that this girl is my best friend & she do something that i kiss her as a fast friend

Kissing is n act of communicating your feelings of joy not finding anything wrong doing it even you are or not its not a disease you go to physic and get updated alone then tell your parents taking along to the same person will convince your parents if the psychologist is the right person being one you know they all have to undergo self counseling dealing the human minds

kanika enjoy anything u like forget the world parents are society based hence for own blood it not uncommon so forget

well i feel its ok with u gal.its just a fling kind of thing.when the friend friend is too good or too beautiful to resist,u may get attracted towards her but may b its not good for long run and u need to desist.

People some of us are blaming each other for being narrow minded. They are saying that there is nothing wrong in one girl kissing another but if men can throw some light on this topic. We men don't kiss our male friends. If we do then that male is gay. So in this case if Kanika was kissing her friend and her tongue was down in her friend's throat or they were French kissing and they were in a compromising position then Kanika is a Lesbian and she should accept this truth and she should come out of the closet. Remember Ricky Martin also came out of the closet and told the whole world that he was a Queer. Kanika if you are lusting for a girl then that is a fact so accept it and move out with your girlfriend.

dr.. oh dr.. were u brought up in all gals school / college ??

rndshp hai waise hi continu. rakho usme koi badlav may lao ok.be normal behave normal as u r. urs parents definetly understand u. take care bye

your parents have got now misundrstanding. from my point of view if u explain them that u r not an lesbian they never understand u at this point. so don't do any kind of reaction don't make them understand and be normal as u r. kyuki reality mey jab aap sahi hote ho to apko apne aap ko sahi proof karne ke liye khuch bhi saabit nahi karna hota. jaise tum dono ki f

make a boy friend and create a scene when ur parent can see. There is no other idea to clear the doubts of ur parents. So go head with a boy.

First of all u call her ur "girlfriend" then u say u dont want to lose her,so.......may be u should think in the lines tat may be u are a lesbian..........BTW being lesbian is not a disease,u just like a gal instead of a guy......tats it.

Firstly u should be able to accept these facts,only then u can expect ur parents to accept it.

trololololol

Hey people you are all telling kanika to kiss a boy next time. Don't you think then Kanika will become a Bi-sexual. I mean its not a crime but still? Do we want kanika to turn into a Bi-sexual and spread the disease all over India too??

Hello Kanika if you are not a lesbian then why were you kissing a girl. There is also no harm if your mom wants to take you to a psychologist..Ciao

get caught again in a compromising position with a boy this time.:) easy...number doon kya apna?

You clearly mention here “kissing my girlfriend”. Means u are in a relationship wid her. Any sane human being wud think u are a lesbian. I wud freak out myself had I been in ur dads place. Doesn’t mean I wudnt accept ur orientation eventually. but, the initial shock is justified. Define your sexual orientation first. if ur a lesbo accept it. if u wan2 to change ur orientation u can undergo counseling. Nothing wrong abt it

come on girl, if ur a lesbian, accept that with full dignity. no need to hide it from ur parents and dont even worry abt what society will say. hang around with the girl you like or love and be comfortable with ur acts. ur parents wud gradually understand and accept ur preferences in life

hi kanika

if u r not a lesbian and want to prove that. then u can do so by kissing a boy in front of your parents

come on girl, if ur a lesbian, accept that with full dignity. no need to hide it from ur parents and dont even worry abt what society will say. hang around with the girl you like or love and be comfortable with ur acts. ur parents wud gradually understand and accept ur preferences in life

To start with - What was the need to kiss a girl. That is boys job. Now explain them somehow. Tell them we will definately go to pschologist if they see it again.

And please do not do it again.

if u are straight, be bold to talk with your parents. Talk to them in the way they understand.

Please don't fear to tell to ur parents. Tell them openly what u want to tell. Always be transparent with ur parents.

It is a very confusing stage to be in. Maybe this is just a phase with you and it will blow over. Wait. Dont say anything to your parents right now

First please decide kanika if you are a lesbian or not. And if you are then you have nothing to fear. Just be frank with your parents.