My husband is very caring & loving, but he's got a major problem with my female friends. He doesn't like any of them, just coz they drink, smoke & have boyfriends. He says this is cheap and not acceptable, so he doesn't like me to party with them or meet them often.
But I love my friends and I love my husband too. I'm confused what to do and how to react. Can someone plsss help me a solution here?

actually u want to enjoy but your husband is typically Indians, Thats the problem for you, Try to change yourself. Bad habit is not good for anyone whether female or male

hallo friend and i am karan raj and enjoy the life your best friend -08104241875

Invite your friends at ur home...let them be friend with ur husband and let each other understand...if ur friends drinks or smoke..its not a big deal...tell them that ur husband dont like it and they make a control while they r ur home..if they r ur true frind they will surely come in ur favor...else choose ur husband becuase you n he has a life long comitment with each other n dont loose it

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Your confusion is touching the realms of immaturity. You have to live with your husband unless you have other designs on your mind. Friends may come and go. Your priority should be your husband. Think how you would like if the roles were reversed? Be happy that you have a loving and caring husband.

In the name of modernity drink, smoke & have boyfriends still do not seem fair. If at all it is necessary, one should keep such things in privacy having excess in such a space only to oneself. We are all humans and may be wrong. So if you want continuity in your family life, try to be compatible and balanced. In my view life with some socially desirable norms is always enjoyable.

A lot of male dominated comments in this forum are a bunch of hog-wash. You had these friends from before you got married. These friends smoked, drank and had boy friends since before your marriage. You did not give into peer pressure before your wedding what makes your husband think you will give in now ? It looks like your husband is insecure in the relationship.

You say that your husband is very caring and loving,then he is worried for you.He probably thinks that your friends who smoke,drink and have boyfriends will get you into vices just like them.You are lucky that you have got a husband who is loving,caring and most importantly has morals.

i think that's all belong to your husband background or how he grow up may the environment he born and grow up not allow such type of friends or behaviour ,try to convince him if you can't try to stay away your friends or talk to them if they are true friends they can understand their self

well ithink ur husband is afraid that being in the company of ur friends(who drink and smoke) u too will become like that. n i must say that he is right. U can say that u wnt brcome like that bt nothing is guaranteed. n then later on u can only regret. life doesnt remain same all the time. we have to adjust ourself acc to circumstances. Ur friends might be very dear to you as u might have spent ur teenage along with them bt then u r married now. U have to learn to priorities things. I m nt saying to break contacts . I m jst saying that start understanding life. its nt worth to throw away a good relationship jst to have some fun. jst imagine when u will have kids wud u still wanna hng out with ur friends? i guess u r smart enough to decide wat is wrong and what is right. and u can call ur friends at ur home sometimes . only difference wud be that this meeting will be without any drinks, smoke or music. and i guess meeting friends is all that matters. rest drinking smoking hanging out is all jst time dependent. and now u have get over all these things and have a successful and happy life with ur husband.

Hi...its not easy to suggest . but think ....priority is your life partner at all times.

Maybe you can invite your friends over and get into a Menage a Trois (if you don't know what it means, Google it). He'll start loving them thereafter.

What ever is easy to leave just leave them.

or

Arrange a party and introduce ur friends with ur husband. sometimes when u donot know about the person and drawing a picture against them. So when ur friend will talk with ur husband definitely he will agreed with the view of ur friends.

You should respect your husbands feelings. He is right in not liking your friends.

So Kirti, doesn't your husband drink or smoke ? Well, he's got many good virtues i must say ! heard that once in a few hundred years, the poles of earth change (north becomes south and vice versa), likewise these days men are cultivating good habits and women are developing the other way :P Ur hubby seems to resemble cultured ancient India, The only reason why he wants u to keep away from them is coz he loves you. What if you hate drinking and smoking and ur hubby hangs out with friends of tht kind? Wudn't you warn him?? Your friends seem to have many good habits, let them not spoil your peaceful married life directly or indirectly. I personally never trust those who imbibe and spoil others' health also by smoking.. which place are u guys from? I also don't fully agree with the airtel ad "Har friend zaroori hota hai" :P

If your husband is caring and loving, consider yourself a lucky women - not many urban men are caring and loving. You say that you can't meet your friends often, which means you are meeting them occasionally. I'd advice you find solace in it. Partying and meeting friends often is only transient for both married men/women; but if you really care to work out your marriage, which assuming that you want it forever, then probably you will have to compromise on certain likes and dislikes of your husband. As long as he is willing to compromise on things similar to you to work out your marriage, there is absolutely no harm for you to give up on certain things. Best wishes!

Dear Kirti

Greetings!



Be with your friends and Husband, no problem. Let him know thru your behaviour, living habits and life-practices that you are neither a copy-cat nor have a tendency to emulate your female friends and their living-style in your life.

This may take time, but stick to it; YOU WOULD BE THE WINNER!!!!



Regards



Sankar.

well m completely agree with suchita......!! well said Gurl......!! of course you need a little more patience in this matter kriti you should talk to your husband in appropriate situtuation i mean when he will be in a good mood and then you can clear your thoughts to him. you have to give it a time to understand him as well may be its his love to protect you so that you cannot involve in all those (drinking / smoking) things n all. tkae him in confidence and give him an idea that it is there life and everybody has there own opinions towards it. you can be loyal and loving to him if he wants to sacrifise your friendship for him but it will not give you complete hapiness if u are letting your friends out of your life. so good luck and may ur problem wil lbe sort out.

I think there has to be a balance maintained between both rather than so called sacrificing nowadays. Women accept their husband's friends no matter how they are. The partner should be made to understand how they have been a part of your life from the beginning and you cant just stop meeting them. No one was born with a halo on their head... You could invite your friends over and get your husband to get to know them and eventually hope that he would like them. all the best.

Since how long you are married to him? For a peaceful and happily married life, both have to sacrifice some thing or other. But, in a male dominated society, it is always the woman who ends up sacrificing. For the sake of your married life, restrict your socializing and do what your husband likes as long as it is practical.