Hi All,

In the context of my earlier article “Facebook : For Friends or Contacts “ I came across the the report of a IIM Girl Malini Murmu commiting suicide after seeing a status change update of her boyfriend on Facebook

The report had 1st line like this “With 727 friends on Facebook, Malini Murmu was like any other college student who logged on often to the social network” Once again the focus was on the no of friends – here 727 , Seven Hundred Twenty Seven Friends & the fact that how can someone who is so lively by the no of friends go to such extreme stage .

This is the basic problem. We have started judging people’s “liveliness” , “Socializing ability “ just by the no of Friends on Facebook etc when actually it is not the case. The “Friends” of Facebook type sites are not real Friends but simply “Contacts (pls refer my earlier post “ Facebook : For Friends or Contacts “ again ) who play no role at all in our emotional support system which is so vital for our ability to handle shocks, adversities etc in life which are so many in today’s times.

The Real emotional support for us can only be the family – parents , life partner & of course some really good Friends whom we can share any aspect of our Life rather than the “Friends” of Facebook who can at best only be Birthday, Diwali buddies as we tend to maybe wish them on these occasions only but hardly we can ever talk our heart out to them as they are not exactly our Friends . The Really Good Friend is an exclusive thing which does not happen in abundance . That good Friends can be maybe 2 or 3 or for lucky ones 5-6 & this includes someone in your family- Father, Mother, Brother, Sister as these are the people with whom we feel like sharing everything of our lives , we can make them our Punching Bags whenever we want to vent out our emotions as Bottling up of emotions is the reason tragic events like the one of this IIM Girl happens. Again coming to this case if this girl would have been talking about her issues with her “Real” friends rather than being active on Facebook (where only ironically she saw the message that her boyfriend “dumped “ her ) with her 727 friends she would not have taken such a tragic step . Just to share a touching line said by a person who underwent a open heart surgery “ Agar Apnon ke aage Dil Khola Hota to Aaj Doctor ke haathon Dil Khulwana Na Parta “ . The message is very clear – don’t bottle up your emotions, go ahead & share with people you Love & of course who Love You too as just your feeling special for someone never suffices. The Feeling of Dearness can never be unilateral . One more caution – that with persons who are your Real Buddies when you share your feelings don’t ever try to conceal any hard facts just out of insecurity of losing them if you tell them some Truth as if they are indeed Real Buddies they will not ditch you even if you tell them the most gory details of your life as that is what they are for . I have no issues in confessing that I have lost one of the most special friend I was lucky to get just last Year only & with whom I shared a great rapport so fast just because of my lies to her as I felt that telling some facts which are societal taboos will make me look like a unsocial person. The fact is that for your “Real” Friends within your Family setup & outside nothing is Taboo . You can just go ahead & share everything with them . That will make you Strong enough to handle pressures of personal & professional domain.

I implore you all to get out of Virtual Friends setup & come in the Real Domain where you can find life changing people as interactions with people only can make you feel in awe of someone & not by someone’s profile on Facebook.

In the last only 2 words -Take Care used so often by that Special Friend I lost .
Take Care that we do not ever reach to a stage where we get upset like Malini Marmu & take some extreme steps as let us admit that we all are emotionally charged . On the outer we all have a Mask tgo conceal our inner emotions, our inner sadness but with Dear ones who give us a good ear we can remove that mask & feel fresh air

The best way to discharge our inner emotions is to talk, talk & talk with Real persons who matter to us & who understand us & not just putting some update on Facebok or a tweet .Also make sure that we give ample time to persons who feel close to us & want to talk over things with us as you never know that if you miss out on giving time to someone who wants to talk over something bothering him/her it could prove fatal .
So, don’t delay talking over & letting others talk to you on matters close to our hearts

Pls share ur views

IF TWO PERSONS ARE TRUELY FRIEND THAN, LET IT BE THE HAVEN OR HELL..OR...VIRTUAL OR FACE TO FACE....THEY WILL REMAIN ALWAYS TRUE FRIEND..THATS ONLY DOSTIIIIIIIIIIII

IF PEOPLES ARE HONEST IN THEIR HEART THAN THERE IS NO VALUE OF BEING VIRTUAL FRIEND OR FACE TO FACE FRIEND, FACE TO FACE FRIENDS ALSO GETS SEPERATED WHAT WE WILL SAY ABOUT IT,,,,SO MAIN THING IS THAT HONESTY AND TRUST

friends whether real or virtual make no difference. It is for the person to find out how valuable they are.

@ Amit Kundra;

Your question should be like a girls skirt; Long enough to cover the subject and short enough to be interesting.

I think at least with ur mother u shud discuss everything..and some very trustworthy friends u shud always discuss all issues with..no matter how u feel abt it..pouring out ur emotions is very imp..instead of suffering inside alone..

Let me tell you something very honestly dear. You cannot share everything with everyone. For example, not even with your close relatives or real friends. For example, suppose a lady like me gets molested and I would want to share with someone (to vent out my emotions) the best person whom I can share such a thing with is a virtual friend for whom I am anonymous. That is, he/she don't know where I stay and cannot blackmail me or spread a wrong word about me. So such things if shared with real friends can be havoc. For example, even in real world we cannot take everyone on face value. Many a times, relationships sours in future (Best example, friendship of Dilip Kumar and Raj Kumar (whatever their names were in the film Saudagar) who were earlier good friends soured later and they virtually became enemies in future. So these are not imaginary things. Such things can happen in real life too. Similarly, some people after knowing about your past can blackmail you (at their will in future) even if you considered them as friends or relatives and shared something with them. For example, suppose you are a girl and had a boyfriend which was known only to your cousin. Even that cousin can tell your husband about this relationship of yours that you had in school or college. So it is not a good point to share just about everything we experienced in our life with just about every real friend or relative (simply believing that she will remain loyal to us. Maybe, she won't and then we had it! Because she can spread the word about the incident with others).

But, then again, you are right. We all must have real friends too. So keep online friends online and real friends for real. Don't confuse with them.

woaff!! that is some dose u giving. Can you briefly explain what exactly u want people to share their views on?