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Childless by choice
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Mitakshara Bhasin I am a 28 year old woman who has been married for the last 4 years. My career is my biggest focus in life right now. I don't have time for kids... more
Shankar Manakkal I think it's all right to be childless. Hvaing a child is not everything. I plan to adopt a child after a few years. There are already so many c.. more
Topic owner: Samhita Shaw: I have noticed a new trend emerging in the last few years, of 'DINK' couples, ie. couple who are 'Double Income, No Kids'. These couples prefer to have no children, not out of any physical or other problem, but simply out of choice. Is this a healthy trend that's growing? What do you feel?
Keizer Soze
Pure macroeconomics!!! As a nation progresses towards better welfare for its citizens, lot of couples choose not to have kids. In India, it hardly matters, someone else is always busy having kids, its ok if a few choose not to.
Ganesh R
Nuclear families demand lots of effort and sacrifice in case of children( and in a lot of other areas too). Its better left to the judgment of the people to decide either to fall in line ( have a child and hence sacrifice career ) or go childless. anyways rearing a child is going to be tougher and tougher in the days to come.We stilldont like to instill indipendence right from childbirth as in the west.
Ramachendran Thiru..
We're supposed to make informed choices, not blind choices, right?
Not having a child but having sex alone is 'our' choice these days. In evolutionary terms, this choice looks like a pretty recent phenomenon. What effect it will have on our species as humans can not be predicted. We've to go by our own light.
However, judging by the fact that affluent and apparently intelligent people seem to be making this choice more than others, it is likely that their genes will slowly reduce in human gene pool. To me, it looks okay 'cause such people who want only their own sexual and other pleasures and are hell bent on competing and making more and more money perhaps cause more harm than good. I'll be happy to be proved wrong on this.
As against them, people who choose to have children or child look like they are ready to shoulder responsibilities, be open to the challenges in bringing up good children, and, maybe, the give and take necessary for a family with children may get passed on to the next generation. If our gene pool gets richer with such people, it may be a good thing.
My own personal experience as a married man with a son and a daughter and a grandson and two grand daughters is that the whole experience as a family man has had a civilizing influence on me. It has compelled me to see other's world-view and to listen and have some control over my ego. When passions clash, as they will in a marriage, a lot of lessons are learnt by feedback from children, if the atmosphere is open and participative.
One wonderful thing I have observed in my life is that my children from the moment they were born till date, have kept me busy figuring out what goes on in their mind and how I can relate to them in a healthy and happy way. This has been richly educative and rewarding for all of us.
I am deeply thankful for having inherited my father's adamantine strength in the face of adversity and my mother's extraordinary ability to give and receive love. I am also heir to some pretty accurate 'gut-feeling' decisions taken in a jiffy. I don't know where I got it from, but it has served me 90% of times that I had need to use it.
To top it all, for a person with my genes and upbringing, God is at shouting distance and Hope is my eternal handkercheif : I can sneeze into it, wipe with it my tears of joy or agony, or cover my eyes with it and go to sleep when the light outside is too harsh and I am too tired to wait for the dark and a soft bed.
We're supposed to make informed choices, not blind choices, right?
Not having a child but having sex alone is 'our' choice these days. In evolutionary terms, this choice looks like a pretty recent phenomenon. What effect it will have on our species as humans can not be predicted. We've to go by our own light.
However, judging by the fact that affluent and apparently intelligent people seem to be making this choice more than others, it is likely that their genes will slowly reduce in human gene pool. To me, it looks okay 'cause such people who want only their own sexual and other pleasures and are hell bent on competing and making more and more money perhaps cause more harm than good. I'll be happy to be proved wrong on this.
As against them, people who choose to have children or child look like they are ready to shoulder responsibilities, be open to the challenges in bringing up good children, and, maybe, the give and take necessary for a family with children may get passed on to the next generation. If our gene pool gets richer with such people, it may be a good thing.
My own personal experience as a married man with a son and a daughter and a grandson and two grand daughters is that the whole experience as a family man has had a civilizing influence on me. It has compelled me to see other's world-view and to listen and have some control over my ego. When passions clash, as they will in a marriage, a lot of lessons are learnt by feedback from children, if the atmosphere is open and participative.
One wonderful thing I have observed in my life is that my children from the moment they were born till date, have kept me busy figuring out what goes on in their mind and how I can relate to them in a healthy and happy way. This has been richly educative and rewarding for all of us.
I am deeply thankful for having inherited my father's adamantine strength in the face of adversity and my mother's extraordinary ability to give and receive love. I am also heir to some pretty accurate 'gut-feeling' decisions taken in a jiffy. I don't know where I got it from, but it has served me 90% of times that I had need to use it.
To top it all, for a person with my genes and upbringing, God is at shouting distance and Hope is my eternal handkercheif : I can sneeze into it, wipe with it my tears of joy or agony, or cover my eyes with it and go to sleep when the light outside is too harsh and I am too tired to wait for the dark and a soft bed.
Ganesh R very true . we have - in the current era moved away from what created us..ie the need to survive and procreate. we use perfumes and wash away pheromones, we use processed foods instead of natural, we mindlessly follow money and power in our career at the cost of happiness and end up realizing that it wasn't worth it and turn to spirituality.
In all these madness and virtual world, why not do away with the fundamentals and legalize suicide and approve of childless couples . That way we can prove that we are greater than nature..:) thats what we are doing anyways
In all these madness and virtual world, why not do away with the fundamentals and legalize suicide and approve of childless couples . That way we can prove that we are greater than nature..:) thats what we are doing anyways
Rajesh Das
I think our parents should have thought in the same way. They should have thought .. no I dont have time for kids, I dont want thier responsibility, and what not .... endless number of questions. Possibly then, we wouldnt be around to voice our thoughts today..
Ranjeev Kumar
Lets consider the trend's impact:
On Society: Economically these couples are best placed to raise healthy children. Society needs much more of such children. So it looses
On their Families: you don't have a complete family if you don't have children.
On DINK couples: its their choice. may they always be free to take their decisions.
Overall Impact: WHO CARES!!
On Society: Economically these couples are best placed to raise healthy children. Society needs much more of such children. So it looses
On their Families: you don't have a complete family if you don't have children.
On DINK couples: its their choice. may they always be free to take their decisions.
Overall Impact: WHO CARES!!
Raj G
Till about 40 years of age, career and other ambitions matter a lot. And we focus on them. But after 40 if the couple is still childless, then there is an emptiness and loneliness. Unfortunately by then it is too late to have children biologically. Plus there is also a vast age gap between parents and child when the child is born late in a marriage. Keeping all these aspects in mind, a couple must start planning at child not later than 30 years of age. Else there are chances you will regret it later. And then time can not be turned back....
A child is equally/very important for a couple as are other aspects of the relationship.
It is never too late to think about starting a family. Natural born or adoption can still remain a matter of personal choice. But a child brings a lot of joy and bonding between the couple. So don't miss out on this part of life.
Right family planing also means at what age a couple wants to start a family. Just like too early is bad....too late is also equally difficult. Because there are many consequences of not starting a family on time.
Family planning is about how many children and when.....neither too early nor too late!
A child is equally/very important for a couple as are other aspects of the relationship.
It is never too late to think about starting a family. Natural born or adoption can still remain a matter of personal choice. But a child brings a lot of joy and bonding between the couple. So don't miss out on this part of life.
Right family planing also means at what age a couple wants to start a family. Just like too early is bad....too late is also equally difficult. Because there are many consequences of not starting a family on time.
Family planning is about how many children and when.....neither too early nor too late!
Rajesh Das Very well put across. I totally agree with what you say. But how many people have this clarity of thought in todays world of escapist charm ?
Krish Menon
Having a child or adopting one is one of the most precious things a couple can have. The right time for it is based on career growth, finance etc are valid reasons nevertheless for staying childless. In developed countries with plentiful resources and offering benefits for having children, thats a different story. So in an overpopulated country like India with diminishing sustainable resources and growing competition, to stay childless can also be viewed as sacrificial! This is one area where I hope India does not compete with China!!
Sunita H
Though a child bring happiness and freshness to a family and give a new meaning to the relation of husband and wife.But still it comes with a responsibility also.Its entirely up to the couple if they want that responsibility or not and also if they can live a life without any offspring. If they don't feel the need of a child, that's OK. Its not mandatory that opposite sex get together must procreate. Now a day people have many more priorities other than family planning. So its fine if they mutually decide if they don't want a child. Right or wrong is just limited to that family if they want a child or not.
Kunal Khanna So are you saying that it is a fine choice to never have children ?
In that case what are you living for ?
Now that you have a job and money, do you only intend to spend it on youselves throughout your life. I doubt you wish to say this, please reply if you wish to clarify something.
In that case what are you living for ?
Now that you have a job and money, do you only intend to spend it on youselves throughout your life. I doubt you wish to say this, please reply if you wish to clarify something.
Thomas Mp
Having children or not is one’s choice.
But in my opinion, a family without children is like a plastic flower that has no fragrance. Money is not everything.
Your life is complete, only when you procreate.
Life has many ups and downs. Merely because we fear the negatives, it is wrong to abandon nature’s laws. Procreation is an essential law of nature.
Those who can’t give a good life to children may opt for having fewer children. (If our ancestors had gone for this option, many of us would not exist today.) Those who can provide a good living and a bright future should have more children. ( But this does not guarantee that all your future generations will live a satisfying life.) (I read somewhere about a woman who was selling tea in a wayside shop for her living. She claims and has some proof that she is a progeny of Shah Jahan.)
You may say that there are a thousand crore people living on this earth and that is why people are dying out of poverty. Do not forget that tens of thousands of years ago when there were only a few thousand people living too, there were people dying out of poverty.
Remember, nature provides and provides abundantly. It is because we do not seek properly that we do not find what and how much nature can give. Or it is because those who have the ability to find hoard it up for themselves.
Many tribes, castes, communities etc. are on the verge of extinction because of their unwillingness to have children in the past many generations.
A multi-religious, multi-racial, multi-caste, multi-cultural, multi-lingual, multi-tribal multi-colour population is the essence of this world. Diversity is nature’s choice and it is our duty to maintain it. If all humans were prototype, how boring this world would have been.
Love, sharing, compassion, sympathy, etc. are all part of a human being’s life. You will realize all these virtues in a family with children. Those who are selfish and self-centered cannot think of others, even of children, because they do not love to share anything with others.
There are millions of couples who crave for children because nature has not given them the gift of ability to procreate and here are people whom nature has given the gift but refuse to take it.
Only when you have children, will you understand its beauty and greatness.
Having children or not is one’s choice.
But in my opinion, a family without children is like a plastic flower that has no fragrance. Money is not everything.
Your life is complete, only when you procreate.
Life has many ups and downs. Merely because we fear the negatives, it is wrong to abandon nature’s laws. Procreation is an essential law of nature.
Those who can’t give a good life to children may opt for having fewer children. (If our ancestors had gone for this option, many of us would not exist today.) Those who can provide a good living and a bright future should have more children. ( But this does not guarantee that all your future generations will live a satisfying life.) (I read somewhere about a woman who was selling tea in a wayside shop for her living. She claims and has some proof that she is a progeny of Shah Jahan.)
You may say that there are a thousand crore people living on this earth and that is why people are dying out of poverty. Do not forget that tens of thousands of years ago when there were only a few thousand people living too, there were people dying out of poverty.
Remember, nature provides and provides abundantly. It is because we do not seek properly that we do not find what and how much nature can give. Or it is because those who have the ability to find hoard it up for themselves.
Many tribes, castes, communities etc. are on the verge of extinction because of their unwillingness to have children in the past many generations.
A multi-religious, multi-racial, multi-caste, multi-cultural, multi-lingual, multi-tribal multi-colour population is the essence of this world. Diversity is nature’s choice and it is our duty to maintain it. If all humans were prototype, how boring this world would have been.
Love, sharing, compassion, sympathy, etc. are all part of a human being’s life. You will realize all these virtues in a family with children. Those who are selfish and self-centered cannot think of others, even of children, because they do not love to share anything with others.
There are millions of couples who crave for children because nature has not given them the gift of ability to procreate and here are people whom nature has given the gift but refuse to take it.
Only when you have children, will you understand its beauty and greatness.
Tanuj Jain
I am Childless by Choice and the main reason being is seeing what humans are doing to this world by breeding like rabbits. As more humans are breeding, all the world's greenery, beautiful wildlife is getting destroyed.
Humans are not a danger only to animals and wildlife, as we can read everyday they are danger to humans too. Whether murders, rapes, kidnappings, terrorism, wars.....
Humans are not a danger only to animals and wildlife, as we can read everyday they are danger to humans too. Whether murders, rapes, kidnappings, terrorism, wars.....
Shankar Manakkal
I think it's all right to be childless. Hvaing a child is not everything. I plan to adopt a child after a few years. There are already so many children in the world who need our love, care & attention. Why have more?
Kainat Mirza I agree totally!!
Mitakshara Bhasin
I am a 28 year old woman who has been married for the last 4 years. My career is my biggest focus in life right now. I don't have time for kids. Having children takes up a lot of one's time, patience & energy. So I am childless by choice.
Murli Krishna I met a couple who are childless
by choice, because they are busy
with their career and work schedule.
I asked "what are you busy with?" They said "we are working on a next generation technology". Then I asked "if there is no next generation, what the heck is next generation technology?" :-)
by choice, because they are busy
with their career and work schedule.
I asked "what are you busy with?" They said "we are working on a next generation technology". Then I asked "if there is no next generation, what the heck is next generation technology?" :-)
Nameet Dhawan
I belong to the old school of thought. No matter how hard we may be working or whatever, it is important to have children to complete one's family life. I think any family is incomplete without children.
Nayana Nagpal
Yes, it is becoming increasingly common, with both men & women getting well-paying jobs. Couples nowadays tend to concentrate more on their career & less on family. I think there is no harm in it.
