So yeah, i FINALLY managed to get with a girl a month ago. And 2 days into the relationship, she says she hates that i also look at other women. I told her i was an artist (really!!) hence its not fair to stop me from looking at works of art by God himself!

Needless to say, im single again...

And i would like to put this question to women all over the world. Arent there bigger problems in this world for you to think about? Is it such a major problem if your guy happens to look at some really nice good looking women once in a while? and i mean ONLY look !!!

Hi John, sorry my friend but I don't buy ur story of an artist. Why not be honest? Maybe ur an artist but u don't look at women because of it. U look at them because u like to do so period. I don't see a problem here. U have eyes to look, so look, but at least have the compation and the sensibility to do it discretly when u'r with ur woman. And don't change ur posture to look at someone when u'r with someone else. It's stupid to tell u not to look at something that's in the front of your eyes. To be fair women look at nice looking men too.

nothing wrong with u that's how men are wired. nature meant them to be like taht. however, be careful not to step on toes

I read this important and interesting discussion and want to put few things before all.. Here there are two things.

Numero Uno...seeing other gal.. i donot know the entire story behind this.. but one thing I can say.. if just seeing other gal is the sole reason for break up then the author must first think are they really into relationship since if ur in true then such little things are not really worthy a relation..

Dusura...i cannot understand why people only see not giving attention to gal is main sole reason and keeping author as reason.. as i said there are many reasons...

Now coming to topic.. i feel yes buddy looking some other hot and beautiful potti infront of your chick is too bad..IF and ONLY IF.. you do it many times.. in front of her and the way you look other PORIS..in lustful way is bad.. once a while you can see..believe I lived in INDIA and now in USA and especially during fall, spring and summer you cannot turn ur eyes off.. but as it says TOO MUCH IS TOO BAD,... see others doesnot mean wanting others.. but u must try to reduce seeing others and that can happen when you believe and feel the love of the beautiful angel who is ur wife/gf

The images in our minds do not lost longer than a second but the friction they cause create a hell all around us.

I am sorry but Sir ! It is a common phenomena .

Since I have some experience in this matter, here are my thoughts....

If you would like your girl to overlook your "wandering eyes", she has to be BLINDLY in love with you. During the initial phase of a relationship it is of utmost importance that you make your girl feel she's the most important and most beautiful person in this world (eg. Don't sit in a coffee shop and look around.... look into her eyes and try to engage in an interesting conversation. Also, when the two of you are walking, don't get too engrossed in what's around, pay attention to her all the time). Once you're able to win her heart and make her feel special, she should be able to overlook these little problems and concentrate on bigger ones ;)

That's my two cents...

Bro ... there is nothing wrong with you . The matter is that women are born with a peculiar feeling called as "insecure feeling". You have to overcome it or either gain her trust . Now it depends on you how you gain that !



However, buddy i say whatever happened - happened for good ! The reason i say this because , if the girl left you , just for the sake of you having a glance at other girls , means she had insecure feelings about you. And when she had insecure feelings , that means she did not trust you .... in this case you should think ; what is the point in being with a girl who does not trust you !!!!! Look for another trust worthy and loyal girl ( hard to find actually ) and move on with life !

John its easy to say for u now that u wudnt hav minded if ur gf luks at other handsome guys.. but when in reality she wud luk at them n say good things like "see that boys eyes are so beautiful, see that other boys body build is so nice" that time u will feel the pain... "if she looked at some other guy at all !!
" saying is very easy buddy!!

all relationships are NOT about 'compromise' and 'restraining freedom' , dont get me wrong... LOOKING is NOT a big issue, but when ur into a relationship ur freedom is not restrained but u have to take into consideration the view of what ur love person wud feel.. if a thing u r doing is hurting ur loved person than is it right to do that thing? after all even u love that person equally when into a relationship right? so if u consider that ur freedom is restrained by being into relationship then one shud not involve oneself into a commitment or preferably stay single the entire life... dont get me wrong please... m talking in general terms... its about mutual understanding... ur freedom is not restrained if u speak out freely to ur partner about ur thots.. if she doesnt like it then plz dont do it.. as if u dont like a thing she wont do that thing.. LOVE keeps u both together... and yes COMPROMISE is everywhere in every relationshp whether it is arrange marriage/ love marriage, if its parents and child relation or brother n sister relation... its bound that everyone has to compromise in every relation its not just GF and BF relations...



the term used "freedom restrained" is not right... its responsibilities come upon u of other person's feelings n values n thoughts... but one point to make is that "RELATIONSHIPS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOUR PRIVACY IS TAKEN AWAY... ITS NOT FREEDOM RESTRAINED..." ur privacy is maintianed still even though u into a realtionshp.. depends on individuals..



tell me if m wrong on my any point...

I've been reading this very entertaining discussion thread & I think the problem here is probably not that a guy looks at other girls. It's perhaps that something is missing in the relationship - that maybe he's not giving her enough attention. So in a situation where a guy hasn't given his girl the due attention she seeks/likes, & in such a scenario he next starts ogling at other women around, he's totally asking for trouble dude! ;)

Dear John, ur an artiste.. its great.. but when ur out with ur women (gf or wife) its better NOT to look at other girls in front of her.. the thing she had in her mind was that why her bf is lookin out when he had such a beauty or gift of god in front of him.. she must have felt ignored n neglected. also one feeling girls face when they are out with their bf n if he luks out to some other girl then the girls feel that isnt she herself is enough beautiful or if she has something missng in her.. u put this question enter her mind.. when expects u shud treat her like princess..



its not that its such a major problem if girl's guy happens to look at some really nice good looking women once in a while... but its the insult whch girls feel when her boy luks at some other pretty girl.. making her realize that she is not that pretty for her boy's eyes to get stuck on her... this feeling is miserable.. n obviously when u r in initiale stage of relationship your girl wud atleast expect this much frm u tht u shud not luk at other girls when she is around.. not talk to other girls n pay her most attention... this is the least she expects...



if u want to look at the works of at by God then do u find the only time when u r out with ur gf convenient to do it? u can do it when she is not around u.... making sure she doesnt get hurted... in relationships its utmost important tht u shdu not hurt ur partner.. but by doing ur act u hurt her.. wud u like John if your girlfriend looks at the most handsome guy in the cofee shop when ur with her? wont u feel jealous or ignored or less worth than that handsome guy if ur gf does so?



wud b waiting for ur reply



Thanks

Supriya

U r an artiste....gr8...but try to forget ur passion for the girl u r with....u r equally passionate for having a soul mate...so hav to adjust a little bit for them. Ven u luk at a women..only u knows y u r luking at her....neither ur girl nor we in this forum.....plus in initial stage of a relationship....don't expect ur girl to understand everything rgt fr the beginning...if she reacted weirdly for ur passion..this does never always mean that she don't udnerstand or never will...she might be expecting ur attention...All d best for future relations buddy.

join the club my friend... join the club of frustrated men. i know how much it hurts to stare constantly thru the CORNER of the eye. might as well wear eye pads when i go out with my girl now...