Hey guys am here with another discussion forum out here...!!

Why does it happens that when one partner is willing to have sex with his wife or with her husband, the other if is not willing too then the first partner gets upset? This is for one of my female frnd who was not having any solution so posting this here for discussion. What I mean here is suppose if both husband and wife are working the whole day, in the night the husband wants to have sex with his wife but due to hectic routine the wife is in a very deep sleep and tired and not willing to have sex at all as her body does not support her, then why does the husband misunderstands her? Here I would emphasize that the husband is very understanding and matured and the wife is really lucky to have him but neither the wife can do anything about this and the husband is helpless about it.. he understands very well that his wife has to do office work then house work n all so her body does not support her he does not complaint to her about it, but the wife also feels she should not upset her husband when there is so much love between them and understanding is just awesome between this couple but this part of their sex life i personally feel can have some solution... what can be done out here? Please suggest.. how can the wife not upset her husband when he wants to have sex inspite of she being so tired and her body not supporting her? Now to make it clear plz dont say that SEX is somethng whch both partners shud have with consensus of each other n all... dont repeat this thing.. i agree to all that things.. just read the post carefully, understand wht m asking n then reply...

Hey there are around 821 members in this forum, but are all of them SLEEPING? its only me, Girish, Gopala, Naveen and other few members who always reply to all forums out here.. wake up members.. I WANT YOUR REPLY TOO.. WAKE UP ALL MEMBERS... dont just visit this forum n increase the view count but have guts to reply to it if u r a member of this group...

Waiting for the replies... your time starts now!!

Hey Supriya, if u want, we can be frineds. contact me at sajjan1982@rediffmail.com

I would like to suggest some solution for the said problem.....1. Set a time for having sex and discuss as early as before so that both should be prepared mentally & physically..... 2. Let some urge remain, both try not to be submissive totally, it will work as a sex reminder and definitely works.....3. Try to have sex at other places other than bed, try it while doing some other work like, when came from office and went to washroom, have foreplay there and after having dinner make the second part...

The whole thing what i wanna convey is making an atmosphere with difference...

the most hurtable thing i found normally in couple during talking,writing,thiinking,reading is rejection for love making, it hurts very deeply..one of my friend cryed infront of me,,coz love-making is a healer not a body need..in love-making partners express love by total personality

work is necessary for practicle life and sex is for personal life..equilibrium must be maintained

for whose happyness we are working and at what cost, after retirement from work only life partner remains with us, so it is necessary that couple must plan their sex-schedule

first couple should understand...what is sex...

hi.. supriya ji sex is the most valluable part of our life..so sex is also nessecery...

The sexual arousal is caused by the sex hormones. When a person is sexually aroused, he or she need an outlet for that sexual energy. And greater the urge, the more the need for gratification. So no wonder why the partner gets disappointed when he gets denied or rejected. However, there are other techniques to fulfill the sexual urge. The wife can give sexual satisfaction to the husband by using her hand (masturbation) or even by oral sex.

hey all...



gues there has been a lot of discussion on the issue...but no solution yet..



supriya..



what my take to this issue is that your friend is willing but not able to have sex with her hubby...due to stressed routine work....n her hubby understands her delima...



gues one solution can be...that they take a break from their routine life...n go on a small vacation...spend some time with each other...n relish the joys of their relationship... it will be relaxin and rejuvinate their marid life..



another solution i suppose is that...as the hubby understands her situation...he should take some initiative by ways of small gestures... sex is not just intercourse..... small small gestures...activities like hugging...kissin...talkin...sleepin in arms...caressing... even if the wife is tired and sleeping..the hubby can make her sleep in his arms...n jus caress her...so tht she has a good relaxed sleep...n when one is relaxed..these gestures can be stimulating also...



i hope this answers to ur question n issue...



lemme know your views...



btw some gyan... true happiness is not from big things...its from the small small happy moments....



cheers..!!

Sypria please read my form once again You have only repeated this. I said in simple form, like to maintain a good sex it is a challenge in today's world. Both men and women work. We end up so tired in bed. What I feel after going through your article. It is hard to find a perfect couple in the bed both A & B must understand how much they extract their body in one whole day at work, in home and domestic work. Just sex is not all life is. Life has got more meaning to it. How we look and shape is very important. In nature some bodies constantly reacts to sex it is in that platform you find complaints and misunderstanding starts.

supriya ji sex is the most valluable part of our life..so sex is also nessecery...

Sex is like food for body, soul and mind. which boost up energy in both the partners.Having a successful sex feels them attracted,lovable,caring and a pleasant life goes on.Wife is tired due to hectic day schedule is no rational excuse,becuz it applies to husband also.Some times it may happen that both or any one is tired too much and goes to sleep after return from his work in the evening or late night. A mutual understanding on the part of both is the demand of time and happy married life.In many cases when the couple is around 50+, the family circumstances restrict them to have sex so frequently.In fact this is due to their being having the same so long say 25-30 years long sexual exercise, which is no more attractive.Apart from this man and woman do not remain as handsome and beautiful to attract to each others.

In todays life, when their is so much poison in our daily food intake, we fail to maintain our sound health.So unhealthy body with High BP,Hypertension and Diabetes are common diseases,leaves any of the partner restless,sick and anxius.

So its all quite natural but in my opinion soft sex like just hugging,kissing, talking sexy talks in any time will help.You can not expect a man like a horse at 50+ in love making.It is most oftenly said that in the initial years, beauty attracts and in the later years, emotional love is binding factor. Exceptions are always there in society where couple are in the high earning or very low earning group,as nobody cares about their social circle,but middle class couple had to manage to reach at high income bracket and to work hard,giving sexual relation to secondry option.

Supriya, for a young couple its very unnatural to not have sex at least two times every week. The success to any marriage or relationship is communication , So either of them have to initiate and talk this through. Men regularly complain women forget sex after eating the wedding cake and women crib that they are not adequately aroused. A regular dose is refreshing, recreational and its in the best interests that the matter be sorted out sooner than later. So to answer your question, the wife must communicate and vent her feelings. That will have better impact rather than letting frustration and stress build up. Each couple have their own unique bedroom equation ... is it not ?

I would really love to start and end the topic in one or two lines but i will try to elaborate. We all know (ourselved plus via all other discussions we had here) that relationship is something that is mutual. We just can't say that having SEX creates problem in relationship. Here wife unable to hav sex with husband is not the problem. The problem is at this point of time, when a partner (m not using husband or wife coz the case kud be vice versa too) is willing to make love and the other do not. Here the feelings r not mutual. Same problem can also arise in any other case too. Suppose wife wants to discuss something about family and husband is so occupied by some work or watever, but he is not willing to participate in the discussion. This situation is also potential enough to cause, if not same then similar problems between the two. It all depend on the understanding of both the partners. If one is not willing then, the other shud take her/his side and skip the thing at that moment n either wait or make the best time for the same. Also the reason for problem kud be many. If the wife is repeatedly trying to avoid having sex out of one reason, then it is very genuine for the husband to feel irritated and vice versa. Also, if the husband do not understand wife's pain n he just put stress on somehow fulfill his need (or desire) then, the reaction of wife is genuine. Adjustment is something that is needed here. Both of them hav to adjust for each others need and not only in SEX case but every other situation that can become a reason or factor for a relationship issue. N this is wat relationship is all about. Guys i hav never been into relationship ever....but still value it and vud like to say one thing



Problems in a relationship is never instant. It is the sum of all, unresolved or ignored, small and minor mistakes.

hey , u have a serious problem yaar , why dont you alk to ur hubby , but having a great time u can start the discussion , I think solution is with 2 of U , and small suggetion why dont you start giving more important in having sex than not having ?

u can take some vitamins n gain sum strength , do not missunderstand me , everybody n body has their own problems dear , u can also flirt with ur hubby through calls n sms , to hot it up the matter , u can be her girlfriend , see his comforts n also tell him abt your comforts n demands ,



you can do it n do not get it in too discussions n start implemanting your love

in todays world hectic schedule we keep certain things at back because we know that not immediately attending it would not create problem because we are understanding and in love but we make it habit we never make it priority on any day of any week hence it always remains a most ignored option so we keep it on ignoring every day and every month why not keep in mind that being in love you should have a certain time at least one hour exclusive for u in a week if u r too much busy i suggest that it should be two hours on any two days in week if u say u dont have time than remember when u both are in love during courtship than how u are able to keep a time for each other out of ur busy schedule now difference is that husband is also not planing and u are also not planing ur own time for each other without any disturbance because u both are taking each other granted if husband by cooperating with u create some time by helping in ur task and u also reduce some burden of superwomen tasks which can be delayed to create a couple time for each other if ur in love than where is ur quality time. A sex denied husband and tired wife who do not want to upset her husband can never create a memorable moments which u can cherish and make u fresh for whole working week ahead rather it will make u more fussy and great complainant so give priority BOTH TO UR QUALITY TIME for each other and exclusive for u both only

Sex is like having meal, as we do take three times in a day.It generates positive energy to perform all your duties with enthusiasm.It also helps to gain weight as well sound health.Then why we typical indians hate(pardon me ladies i address to you).Every one has equal right to take both type of meals on regular basis without any prejudice or anger.

Hi Supriya..it is nice discussion and I am posting what I feel so

Firstly why does one partner gets upset..i guess mainly it for the affections, love and desire the partner gets upset...sometimes he/she may understand and feel for the other working partner.. but when that sometimes become manytime which turns into daily routine then it will really upsets the partner since the partner is human and he/she has some desires and wants

As I said if the situation which you said happens for some time then it is well and good and true loving partner will understand the working partner and may compromise their desires..but this work is becoming more like daily routine then it will create problem between couples.. and why means the partners are not getting not only sex but also love affection and that romantic moments which our mind and body and soul needs since we are natural living beings..even though they have love on each other and each other know but sex is special part and it add more color to life.. everyone needs comfort and love that gets through sex and why the answer is that we are humans and we are born like that..they are emotional attachment..sex has emotional attachment and which humans needs it and crave for it..

What can be done and I feel planning and trust can over come everything.. maybe every day they cannot have sex..but maybe once a week nite or maybe 4 to 5 months a month..during time of heavy work time...they must plan and keep work aside and must make LOVE to eachother...careful planning and trust on each other and love, care and affection..they will surely overcome the situation ur saying ..and other way wife cannot upset is be good to her hubby...in fact one partner must not neglect other partner completely...talk with them.. check how they are doin.. kiss the other partner..take 5 to 10 minutes break and indulge in some nice romantic things.. there are lot ways.. everything needs planning and love..

I cannot understand why you kept this .."SEX is somethng whch both partners shud have with consensus of each other n all... dont repeat this thing."... this is important and with out this there is nuthin...in many posts i came across this..writer asks for opinions and he/she will remove important one that is main point of discussion..

Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite !

Supriya, Myy understanding on the issue :



It's not a routine act like brushing, taking bath or having food neither goes by any law or rules.



Human body ( both male and female ) is ruled by certain hormones and their stimulation. That starts with sixth senses- eyes, ear, nose, tongue and touch( skin ) . Combination of these or some of these stimulates the hormone and desire is generated in a person.



When both the partners are stimulated by common sense or common cause they decide to come closer- closer and finally closest....that we term as....sex. A wide and broad relationship issue....



May happen any time, any where in any situation between any two persons.



The act stimulates brain of both, when mutually consented, stimulates heart, blood circulation, and finally another hormone is discharged which is commonly known as Happiness hormone. if you need detail just search with the words- Happiness hormone- you will get that on google.



So, it's not an act of compulsion or part of daily routine, neither bonded by any rules or laws.....It just happens and in happy mood only.



So there is no question of spoiling relationships or creating problem in relationship with sex.



People use this excuse , probably the act occured without his or her consent or desire...



Hence, I don't agree that sex creates problem in relationships...rather it makes the bond stronger between two partners .



You may differ- that's my opinion.

it is easy let the husband do all house work and take care of kids when they are home.. so the wife may have a rest...))