Hi Friends, I am again back with one more topic for discussion out here. Tell me people who are in relationships (married/unmarried) why does it happen that after a point or so you lose on the charm in the relationsihp? Initially when a girl and a boy are in relation they would see nothing except love and would talk continuously on phone, would meet up frequently, would show off their love to all the people they know and etc, etc.. but the same thing does not happen when the relation becomes 3 years old (just an approximate number of 3 years - it can be more or less too in few cases).

Why is it that one of the partner gets bored after a while? Even normal talks on phones are avoided later on when initially the same person would insist to talk for 24 hours? Does the relation loses its charm? What can be done to maintain the charm throughout life? The LOVE REMAINS THE SAME, the CARE ALSO is SAME as there was before from both the partners towards each other but still there is one partner getting bored. Tell me normal normal things like talking on phone or hugging each other or appreciating on small small things whch previously was present but later on after few years doesnt seem to be important? why shud this be so? why such a sudden change? responsibilities to pehle bhi thi na.. and later on also its present then why one partner gets bored with the other after a while in a relationship? How can the second partner let the first partner involve in him/her so that the first partner doesnt get bored? Am in one confusion and need an answer to it. Please help me out !!

The reason is simple: familiarity breeds contempt... If you come across anything new, it will catch your interest, but after some time, you no longer bothers to even look at it. For example, if you hang a beautiful photo in your room, initially you will spend time watching and admiring it. But after some time, you may not even look at it. That is human nature. And as far as love and care in a relationship is concerned, the mutual dependence and security in a relationship is what that maintains the relationship in the long run.

Supriya, well, it is a boredom i think when two always stay together just as you always have the same food everyday. I have some friends who got married... when i met them they would tell me they are old husband and old wife meaning long time couple we describe it in China. it is a joking which i think it shows the boredom and familiarity of each other. So we think here that when staying very long, what you feel the other person is just like that feeling you put your left hand on your right hand... so tell me when you put your left hand on your right hand what do you feel about it? That's why you two need sth, to fresh up the relationship. I would say two do not need to be always sticky together.. let you two to be alone for a short period of time.. then there is a saying in China Xiao bie sheng xinhun. which means to separate in a short period of time when you get together the feelling is much more than the feeling when you two just got married..hahahha, wht do you say?

in my opinion partner gets bored after some times because every things graph goes to the peak.After achieving peak it starts reducing.Initially ,partner have thinking in that whether i will get him/her?Each one use to be curious about opposite sex.the world's happiest couple never have the same characters....but they just have the best understanding of their differences.In this way they can have better communicated each other.Each of them must understand needs of each other and their feelings towards each other.Look after kids and other family members happily.

well supriya i am not genious in relationships but boredom can be a problem because there is an old saying " Idleness is the poison of the soul". Lots of couples get entangled in work, kids and other hassles of life and forget why they fell in love or why they even got together in the first place.



There are a few ways to keep things interesting, firstly humour. God be praised for humour, without it no relationship can last beyond 2 years. You got to have it and nurture it. you got to have pateince and demand "we" time and both men and women are equally responsible to demand fun. Just because you get married, doesnt mean we can't do things we like. " We" time is very important in every relationship.



I have seen both men and women give up on themselves after marriage, men gain weight and women too, laziness creeps in and most of the blame goes on work and kids and how they take your time away, which is bs. you have to make time to look and feel your best for your partner, men have to conform to what their women want their men to project in front of friends, family and women have to conform to keep the man physically and emotionallly attracted to her. Which both have to spend time on keeping fit, keeping healthy, activities that they can share together, i dont really mean " sex" you naughty people. sex is a must atleast once or twice a week. try new things like sex in weird and exciting places. i'll leave your imagination for that.



respect eachother's space and dont be afraid of arguments. just dont be arrogant enough to break it off when the argument gets into a fight. relax and have make up sex or find other ways to channel your energy.



In a relationship little things make the difference. For men, occasional flowers, ocaasionally being romantic, a little spontaniousness, a little kinkyness and self care wont hurt at all. Spend time working out a few times a week and show that your doing everything you can to improve. Women love men who are dedicated, and no woman wants to remain married to guy who is a slog. keeping busy is important. share opinions and take eachother's understanding while making any decision. involvement is crucial. A little cleaning of the house, dishes, cooking togther gives more times to connect, just dont let her do all the things, remember the average woman works nearly 16 hours a day even if she isnt the breadwinner, just the amount of talking they do requires more energy than a man's full day's worth of labour. so just because you worked all day doesnt mean she didnt, leave work at work and keep home time sacred, remember its your time. find time to wake a bit early and just talk in bed and talk in bed before going to sleep, women love men who listen and she will love you still if you just listen. a daily back rub or massage is heaven for a woman (at the end of the day), gives her time to just shut up for a moment and enjoy your hands on her.



Women; you too have to keep hot and sexy, work out, keep busy, if your making more money than your man, dont make fun of him, respect him, humour him, surprice him. Remember that men are simple minded and dont often see things the same way. Dont yell at him, even if you do, do it with love and not in anger because men react dangerously to loud noises and if anger kicks it, few things can actually stop it from boiling over. whisper into his ear and with love and most men will do almost anything to keep you happy. Sometimes he just needs good sex. Give him an impression that your atleast trying to keep him satisfied. an occasional massage and appreciation. beyond birthdays, men hardly get any gifts or even recognition, while women have " women's day, mother's day, birthdays, valentine's day, her birthday (you better not forget), anniversary( this one either) etc. a little gift for you man wont do any harm. it doesnt have to be something you buy even a kinky dress and crazy sex will do. Remember he is human too and not your pet who simply follows you waggin his tail (though thats what men do most of the time).



treat eachothers like human beings and then you'll have a better chance at a lasting relationship. Stand up for eachother and remember love is real hard work and should be your full-time passion.

because u have discovered each other very well and same time come to know that ur not the same of which u have dream t of u see no possibility of any future interest for which u can cling together its OK because what ever u can explored is already done its empty now so there is loss of interest and any possibility also but in emptiness u don't do anything but only goon routine.ans a very honest question to urself that do u find other as per ur expectat-ion or just carrying on for sake for obligation because with time other have evolved into something which no longer interests u any more

in every relation when we start to control other or dominate than problem starts because we never change and our nature also does not change but in so called love we tolerate everything little bit in the hope things will improve but it never happens when our patience expires than the tolerance level also goes down and the irritation starts from same person whom we love what was earlier beautiful seems ugly moreover with time everything change but we always cling to same lady we met first reality is that we are also not the same nor the women i loved is same she has evolved with time and so am i but old habit never goes we cry for same old girl we met first for which one married her she also looks for same man who had made so many promises which ultimately turns to be false so in this long term relation also we come to discovery that i and she had also the flaws which we never expected from each other and it also not-matches with my dream husband or dream girl which in reality never exists but we carve for it rather than exploring each other and accepting each other with their flaws we complain but never compliment that who ever u r and whatever ur baby i love u no matter what flaws u have i will be with u say these words and from heart and see the results with no standard expectation or pre conceived notions but we always complaint and never watch how much we have also changed what we use to say when we met for first time and what we say now for each other when we have difference of opinion.and to have different view is something other than to be indifferent to each other.if u have care,love compassion if don't than search out for same because may be we are not watching our relation with full awareness and changes it has undergone with time nor we have-accepted the changes with yes. we are still rebelling against it and fighting for it if one has compassion, love and care than don't loose it u have still so much to continue and explore because whatever changes u make ur going to choose the same nature person that u earlier choose because ur liking has also not changed so u will have same old wine but in new bottle problem lies with in urself not somewhere else first accept ur self what ur than workout on relation it is also evolving with time in very beautiful and elegant manner

Supriya, I feel that when someone enter in a relationship, at that time both of the people ready to accept second person wishes and feeling at certain extent. In other way we may say that in the starting at certain point we compromise with other wishes or action and don’t comments on seconds person’s action. Before 3-4 years relationship we never feel our right on other person. On the basis of it, mostly people avoid or ignore or accept or keep it in mind the wrong doing by the second person. In other way we compromise with each others.

But after 3-4 years relationship or after getting marriage, we feel our full right on other person. On this stage we hardly accept the wrong/unlike thinks etc doing by the second person. In other way we don’t do compromise with others feelings/actions etc which causes the conflict between them. At that stage their ego, at certain extent, clash with each other and will create some difference between them.

Hope, at limited stage, It would be the answer of your question.

Supriya , while growing , we feel and see things and times changing around us ... which we term as experience. Experience comes with time . Though it is not necessary to be experienced to have a successful life time relationship.All we need to have is a 50%maturity and 50% mutual understanding. Let me give an example...and ask you a question

Guy is dating a gal on year 1 when both are in their last terms of college, life for them right now is all fun with no responsibilities. Hence they can spend lot of time together talking crap and useless things.Both are happy and the relation is going onn. Cool .... !

Year 2 ... the guy needs to find a job or start business , for any xyz reason , e.g. family problems, career point of view, financial growth, etc., so here starts his journey to the real world, which may not be required to to start for the girl. So during the 2nd half of this year , the guy is starting to get busy with his professional life keeping a motive to make money to settle down with the gal. Whereas the gal thinks the other way round. now, the quarrels start.

Year 3 , digging up the buried bodies, the gal sets examples of other couples , which is hated by ALL men, which further disturbs the relation. Otherwise the guy gets way too busy , an doesn't even have the time to answer the gal's calls . So, start of the breaking time of the relationship. By this year's 2nd half , the gal might start looking for a job , or might be thinking of seeing someone else ! .... and the story ends in a disaster...

This can be other way round as well, depending on the individuals situation... most of the time it is the guy who is busy ... can't help it ... so now Supriya... you tell all of us here ... what according to you should be done to save their relationship ? Remember, the guy has intentions to make money for the sake of settling down with the gal. Whom do we blame for the non-working-out of the relationship ?



Only Supriya is supposed to answer please !

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

First of all Supriyaji welcome back. I am not married and not at all into relationship. I donot know whether I can post my views here or not. If I am not eligible and my post is not worth just discard it.

Now coming to your post why one partner gets bored after sometime into relationship. I feel it is just natural human tendency. When they want to win something they strive hard and once they win it they take it for granted and start to enjoy it. That same with relationship. When they start relationship and before relationship they are in playing stage and they want to win the match and to do that they talk with each other on phones a lot and hugs a lot. But once they win it and they start it still they do it because people always like and use new things alot and as time goes on they use that thing only when it is need similarly as relationship moves on number of calls and length of calls get reduced since now there is no need for them to put extra effort since they are already into relationship and they take other partner for granted...for example partner before relationship does not say he/she is busy if other partner asks to come out with her..because this give opportunity to impress and at stage of into relationship there is no need to impress.

About losing charm in relationship..it is not wrong with relationships it is wrong with people who are not matured and who just see attraction and infatuation as relationship will lose charm. But matured true lovers into relationship or even friendship will know that their relationship is not based on flirting or always romance..but it is based on supporting, respecting and values and those makes them to compromise on few things. Even though they are unable to talk 24 hours daily or hugs every time still their relationship will go on strong since it is matured relationship which knows reality.

About one partner getting bored..it is not always true sometimes it is but not always.. maybe as times pass on on partner gets more busy with work or more responsibilities that takes his more times and he takes it for granted that his/her partner will support them even though what ever they do. So it depends on individual cases.

What second partner must do to keep first partner in relationship..first of all second partner must figure out why first one is bored..it is due to taking second for granted or seeing someone else or cheating..depending on situation second partner must take decision..if first one is not showing love but he/she truly does and take second one for granted them second one must give first one some surprises like eating together, lovely message, call him /her when you feel he/she is free..ask them abt day, abt problems and try hard without selfishness and make first to believe that second one is there for first one and truly loves first one. and hope that first one will see their love and in return will shown them love. As I said matured people will see love of partners and needs to show it in return in what ever form that is good for both

Sorry for long post..will be waiting for comments

When people r into a relationship, they live in there own created superficial world. They talk of trusts, understandings etc but never realize that these things will test themselves by its own ven it is the time. Please note I am talking about any relationship, from Friendship to Love. When we like something..we try to get it..dat needs our effort. After succeeding in achieving wat we want, game of human psychology starts. From this point it become very difficult to xplain things coz in this world each person has got different psychology. Dis means 10000 individual mean 10000 psychology. I hav seen guys n gals for whom there lives r more imp than there commitments towards there family and at the same time, there r people who after a point of time do realize there responsibilities. n both the cases question arises, a person who is not serious about his responsibilities, will he be same after marriage...or will he change? Wat if he do not change?

And for a responsible person, he has changed a lot after marriage. he is so devoted to his family but our equation has changed. Can't i ever get the same guy whom i met before. Things will change in any which case. But the point is people need to understand, love, feelings r like energy....dat cannot not be destroyed but can change form. b4 a getting into responsible life, it was all easy. nothing to worry about except to let him/her continuesly love you. bt after getting into relationship, everyone will have to manage things around them. few people don't understand this. they do not want to end there fairy tale. And thus problem begins. People need to understand, ven one partner is busy doing smthing other than loving his/her spouse/gf/bf, the other half shud try to provide them the comfort so that he/she do not 4gt that now, they have smone around them.



I gonna finish this here...coz i don't knw myself where it is going. it is a very complex human nature. there r so many points coming into mind...bt lets end here..i hp u get it wat i mean to say supriya...njoy...

yeah.. m nt a right person though i wud like to hear the gals point of view.. nvr been in to a relationship for that long......