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Girish Ingale It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem ! more
Charan Singh this is something a very fatal problem for the "relationships",i think when the boy was being brought up by parents,he was absolutely faithful to his.. more
Topic owner: Kumar R:
Take the case of an indian man who was brought up by his parents very well, was taught excellently for which the man is proud of. He got excellent job and is settled in a different city, married HAPPILY and having 2 lovely kids about 10-12 years old. He loves his wife as well as the kids very much. But the problem is he loves his parents also very much and despite all efforts to quench the differences between his parents and wife, has been a total failure in bringing harmony on this front. The aged parents have no complaints and they live in their own place. This man knows there are few problems in the behaviour of his parents but also thinks no one is perfect. He feels himself damn guilty of not being able to keep his parents at the outset of their lives, who were his roots with him. He is at the peak of frustration and sees no hope. . He continuously thinks that every bit of him has been due to his parents. At the same time, he loves his wife very much and is ready to do almost anything for her. What else can he do except to feel helpless and ruined? Is wishing to take care of old parents wrong?
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Girish Ingale
It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem !
Supriya T Jagtap
Nice way out Girish !! :-)
Girish Ingale
this is getting way too out to handle ... LIVE AND LET LIVE... as elders say ... dusron ke phatte mein taang mat ladao ! i am getting out of here ... this place stinks ! bye guys
Gopala Chintakindi
@Girish dude..i donot know how you took my post but I never intended to criticize you but the first post from you in this discussion made me feel that you were making fun of people who posted some valuale suggestions ( dude suggestion ) not solutions to Kumar. Frankly, I didnot mind what you said..just wanted to put my point before you thats all.
@Supriya...I liked your mature post and thanks for it. From my side ..fighting,..that to at such places no way... i was not fighting..not even arguing....i was putting my points infront of all.. I like the way you sounded like a mediator with nice arguments.. i really liked your arguments and respect you for doing that ..
About suggesting someone..it is not necessary that you must eligible like in this case married or unmarried.. and if you feel from post of Kumar we (i) didnot understand situation..then that means maybe you need a long essay to understand for me i understood what Kumar said..so i gave my suggestions.. i am not married but it doesnot mean i donot know abt problem..since from my dad we faced same situation and I suggested what he has to do depending on my experience..
If you doot read post carefully and take for granted that other person who gave suggestions didnot dive into water then it is ur mistake.. maybe u or some had dive into personal swimming pool.. but we dived into natural water resources like village wells, rivers, but we know the experience and feel abt it..
Thinking about the topic with open minded and broad minded is important.. sometimes either one is not enough we need both and if any person irrespective of gender and status have it can then give suggestions and one more thing.. we give suggestions not orders..
Supriya T Jagtap
Heys guys (gopala and girish) plz dont fight on comments..as girish u said its difficult to implement.. i agree with u totally.. no comment on it.. and gopala u too r rght on ur part v can comment n give suggestion on any topic..
Girish one more thing, its not necessary that to give suggestion we need to be in that place always.. at some times we give suggestions based on our surroundings and people's experience around us.. so i guess nothing bad in suggesting on this topic even if ur not married.. i suggested my comment based on my cousin's examples.. and what i felt ..
hope this settles all !!
would be waiting for ur valueable comments !!
Girish Ingale
well... when we cannot make a difference by suggesting anyone , then why suggest ? And as it is Gopala , Supriya's case is different , so is Kumar's . However , we could easily suggest at Supriya's topic simply because somewhere down the line we have been there , done it all. In Kumar's case neither , You or Supriya or Me, are married , or have WE been there and done it all ! So , you see, what i mean to say is , when we actually haven't dived in the water, why the heck do we suggest the person who knows better than US ?
There are other people in this forum as well. Maybe they might be married and actually might have had similar experience which the writer is facing now. Let other Married and Experienced people comment on this topic.
Gopala Chintakindi
Come on Girish..when we give ( or atleast I) give suggestions I know it is hard to implement.. but doesnot mean that we have to stop believing it and atleast not give a try.. you tell then what is easy way and good way to do it..?
Gopala Chintakindi
This is a typical problem in many indian families and problem which many indian married men faces...this is also similar situation which we are facing..i am not married i am talking abt my dad and his parents...it is not exact but same situation....even though my dad didnot convince us...just for pity sake we took dad's parents and now they are with us..so i guess the only thing u can do is..convince ur wife..she must atleast fell pity and also your parents must also try to understand ur wife and try to be in harmony.. thats what i feel u can do..will be waiting for your reply..
Supriya T Jagtap
Thinking of the scenario its the generation gap between the wife and the in-laws that has put the man in dilemma.. wife is correct on her part n parents are correct on their part, if man favors wife then parents are hurted and vice versa.. i think that man should convince his wife to adjust on some fronts while when situations arise he should defend his wife in front of his parents but in the private bedroom he shud shout his wife if she is wrong.. i think its a man's duty to keep both wife n parents together instead of getting frustated.. dont let his parents stay away from him coz after all when he realizes this that they were the one who made him wht he is today then he should also realize that at old age he is their only support.. try convincing wife to adjust on small issues.. instead of favorouing her completely.. here the man shud neither b a mamma's boy neither he shud b a wife's dog.. he shud balance between both understanding the situation..
hope my advice helps
let me know whats ur take on this (to the readers and to kumar) ?
Supriya T Jagtap
Agreed Girish its easy to say but hard to implement but suggesting is never bad.. it depends on the person solely whether to implement or not.. let him only decide rather than u telling if its easy or difficult as even u hav not been in those shoes just like me... hope u get it !! sorry if m lil rude to ur this comment!!
Girish Ingale
cheers Supriya ... ! easy to say hard to implement !
Charan Singh
this is something a very fatal problem for the "relationships",i think when the boy was being brought up by parents,he was absolutely faithful to his parents and he would have never wished to leave them.but when his wife came into the picture his parent are after his wife surely,,so i think it's his wife who changed the whole scenario.
now it's on him what he want!!!
Gopala Chintakindi
@Charan..i guess what you said is not 100% true. I guess the man has been departed from his parents becuase of circumstances not because of wife and there maybe difference between wife and in laws and that is natural in indian families..so we cannot see wife as the reason and since the writer didnot see her as reason ( that wat i feel)..
Supriya T Jagtap
Though its very easy to say that its on him to decide what a man wants its very difficult to decide the same.. had u been in that man's place what had u done charan? wud b waiting for ur post...
-supriya
