Parenthood
Is 35 too late for pregnancy?
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Nisha Menon Your sister should consult a gynae before even planning like that. Reasons for planning a child early is :- 1) Having a child at a later ag.. more
Topic owner: Pooja Chopra:
Hi, want to ask all of you parents here , my sister is 31 and is married for four years now, she wants to have a baby, but insists she wants to finish up with certain things before she plans her child, she wants to have it in four years, i told her 35 , would biologically be really late to have a kid. But she said its ok , want you help guys, what do you think, is 35 really late ?
Rakesh Kumar Sinha
No.Never. For being any parental hood , u must think that u r mentally & physically prepared. At 35 u may b physically prepared but think for ur mental preparation for love,affection , attachments. These r only required for parenthood unless & until there is no other problem.
Jess Kaur
I know a lot of women who've had kids in their 40s. My sister had a boy when she was 42 and one friend had her twins at age 46. They're healthy and fine. Both mothers and kids. These days 40 is the old 28 if you are healthy. Women in North America (the educated, professional ones) eat healthy, exercise and avoid illnesses so it's all fine. Plus in later years you are not stressed about earning money or psychologically crazy with stress so you enjoy your kids and kids enjoy you. Don't worry. Don't let these 22 year old guys give you advice.
Avs Avs
Hi, married 4 yrs before & wants to wait for another 4 yrs??? doesnt sound a good idea, unless ofcourse if the circumstance are such.
having kids is heavenly feeling and they r so demanding that u need to run & play & act like baby with them & u will enjoy more in yr younger age.
Megha Chawla
well said, its like reliving your child hood altogether
Nisha Menon
conventional and unconventional are good way to shoo things away ... life is based on facts... i would say, if one plans just be ready for all kind of future. rest on ... enjoy :)... i feel, sometimes if you are not ready to have a baby people should think of early adoption. I support Sushmita Sen fully. Look, how she is fulfilling her dream (if only you have one)of motherhood along with other things. Man this debate is lonnnnng.... would definitely like to know what the topic owner's sister feels after all this :)
Tito Jose
The only bad thing about late prego is that when her son/dau gets in her teen the mother will look like his/her grandmom:-)
Chit Chat
Sure, one can list 101 reasons for people who want to have children early, you can add to the list you can see your grand children growing up and may be a mini-marathon with them :-) I am not debating that at all.. All I am saying is, just as women who want to have baby early have their reasons, women who want to have late also have their own reasons, its not necessary that every one needs to have same goal and priority in life. My only problem is even today, people are quick and fast in listing all the scary things that can happen to women who conceive late, like mentally retarded babies, medical problems for the mother and what not... though % of those possibilities are so small. All I am saying is, at least in today's times we can be more welcoming of these things than painting a scary picture...
So, my answer to the person who posted question would be, may be its late for you, may be its not... but, all that matters is you have a baby when you want to have...not 'coz your gynae says your biological clock is ticking... there is risk involved in every decision in life... I think its not less risky to be a parent when you are not prepared mentally not just for you to the child as well.... and your gynae wouldn't know who you are and what you think is the purpose of your life...
Chit Chat
what abt the husband?!! :-) I think the new gen indian men have taken far better leap in viewing life out of the stereotypical social context than women... I guess, this is getting into same old the conventional vs unconventional view points in life, like I said, I am not arguing that for some ppl having children and raising family might be the most fulfilling experience, but, that need not have to be the universal truth.... as far as I am concerned when someone takes courage to think out of the box and look at life in a broader context, I celebrate it... rather than trying to make a case why other side is better... if someone thinks not having baby is their priority right now, so be it... so, here I am not saying my way is the high way... I am saying fulfillment and "overwhelming " life experiences can come in many forms..... Over & Out....
Nisha Menon
One is never prepared mentally to deal with a child unless you have a child. You may feel you are mentally prepared but the moment you deliver your baby ... it is a TOTALLY different experience(not scary but overwhelming)... and you can never imagine how topsy turvy your life becomes. Your sense of purpose , ambition changes... everything changes. atleast it changed for me. You may plan, and sometimes, plans go wrong too... and sometimes something spontaneous clicks.
And hey what about the husband. What is his take on this?
Shaista Khan
Yes ...35 is not very late but not the right age either...with age progressing the quality of eggs that a woman produces in each menstrual cycle..also ages ...which at early age is def..healthy..and as the egg ages...people are at risk of producing mentally retarded babies...like down"s syndrome...
Nisha Menon
Your sister should consult a gynae before even planning like that.
Reasons for planning a child early is :-
1) Having a child at a later age can sometimes lead to hormonal imbalance in old age (after 50). My mother concieved me close to 30 and after delivering me, she faced hightly irregular bleeding which would continue for a month sometimes.
2) The fertility decreases with age. What is the gurantee that your sister will concieve at that age? if she plans right away then she can go for a patient phase of planning and may not be stressed if (ok this is a worst case) she takes time concieving.
3) Also bringing up a baby is highly energy consuming. At the age of 35 , our stamina is lesser as compared to early ... Breast feeding, etc takes a big toll on the mother's health and all this has to be borne in mind when we plan to have a baby.
Nisha Menon
@Chit Chat :- I am staying in Europe, and i find, many ladies who want to have kids, start early , they don't get married(its not obligatory), but they do have babies early ... at 50 you may run marathons concieving and having a good quality foetus is another thing... nothing physical.
There is another aspect of having children early, you will enjoy their youth when you still are energetic. you can run marathons together !!! what say?
And please see what was the first sentence that i said, please consult a gynae ... she will tell you according to your body.
Chit Chat
huh! this is such an old indian paradox, yes, it is true there are some risks associated with late pregnancies but, there are risk associated with pregnancy at any age. I don't think decisions like having children should be made based on thoughts like what if I cannot have it later!!
It always amuses me how people in India mention that at 35 you won't have energy/stamina to run behind kid!! really?!!! I live in US and here 50+ year old women run marathons... it all depends on what kind of lifestyle you have. Do not want to sound condescending, but, its high time women stop living with a time bomb tied to their waist in india, oh got to get married by 25, got to have baby by 30! oh! puhlleeaaseee!!!
Megha Chawla
@Nisha- thanx for you inputs, you put them just the way it shd be
Vandana Vidyarthi
My sis- in law is 37 and having her first,
No way you are too old for this!
Good luck!!!
